Mag'e-zine homeView the Archive

Put an End to Hair Torture

A few days ago I saw a video that I honestly found disturbing. It's titled Nappy Ass hair and I couldn't watch the whole video because I couldn't stand watching such hostility directed toward this poor kid. I needed to address what I saw to relieve my frustration at what I'd seen but also to share the resources that I've found helpful in my transition to all natural skin and hair care.

I formulate natural makeup; I've been into natural skin and hair care for a while but I'm also a sociologist. While I worked on my degrees in sociology, I also worked at group homes. One of the things I noticed was that the Black and Bi-racial girls had the most hair care issues. None of the employees knew how to help these girls learn to "groom" their hair, and they didn't want to learn. Sometimes, the staff would get so frustrated with the girls they would convince them that they should get their hair cut really short. I suppose that's a better option than torturing kids but I thought there had to be a better way. So, when I worked the night shift, I'd bring my flat iron, blow dryer, curling iron and other toys so the girls and I could do hair.

Later, I realized that I was recreating, in a group home, what my mom, aunties, grammas and cousins had been doing for years in weekend hairstyling sessions at home - bonding. I found that after I'd style their hair, some of the girls would mess it up the next morning. This was beyond frustrating until I realized what they were really doing. They were asking, in their own odd way, for more attention, more bonding because that was "our time."

Sure, getting together to do hair can save money, teach grooming skills and a number of other "opportunities" but I believe it's also about bonding. In essence, it's a way of sending the message that you care enough to care for their needs or yours. I've gone through a few "hair transitions" in my life - some involuntary - and I've had to learn to care for a new hair texture on my own head. Whether chemicals are involved or not, it may take some time and patience to learn how to care for your (or another's) hair. If you don't have time or patience, there are salons, online forums and blogs offering tons of information. All of which provide opportunities for encouraging hair experiences that can build positive self-images.

I've made my own hair and skincare products for years but I really don't have time to do that anymore. Thankfully, I've found a number of options that meet my needs. I've used the products and/or services listed below and I'm happy to share. Feel free to add more to the comments sections. Enjoy!


These are great forums and the members are really helpful.
nappturality.com
long hair care forum

Afrobella Blog-Fashion, fun and of course - hair


All natural and handcrafted hair (and skin) care products that work amazingly well for natural hairstyles. I'm a fan of several Oyin products and the owners are simply beautiful (and Honey Baby is brilliant and the king of cuteness).
oyinhandmade

These natural hair care products are great. I use Curling Custard weekly.
kinky-curly.com

When it's time to adorn your natural hair style, visit Tomoka's Twists. They are easy to use, versatile and fashionable. I'm building a small collection of Twists.
Tomokastwists.com

All natural and vegan hair and skin care
inkylovesnature.com

Ms. Jessie's Salon
This site has a wealth of information including great video and slide show demonstrations on different techniques for styling and caring for curly/kinky hair (good quality - their products are not all natural).

Please check out Ms. Jessie's Babies (These pics are so adorable)
MissJessiesBabies

(Note: I posted this blog entry in several of my blogs. The comments were so insightful and thoughtful, I wanted to share them here as well.)

Comments

Lorraine Wrote: WOW...who filmed it I wonder?

Samantha Wrote: Your insights are, as usual, so well expressed! You should definitely post this one to your site.

Valerie (Valana Minerals) Wrote: Thanks for the feedback! I really appreciate it. I can't imagine who exactly was filming but it was bothersome that the person filming was laughing so hard that it seemed she (laugh sounded like a female or younger voice) could hardly keep the camera still.

WC Wrote: Wow, I don't know where to begin on that video. I wanted to grab the little girl and hug her. This is why so many little girls are 'tender headed' and this video is one explanation to why so many women with textured hair grow up disliking the hair on their head. And don't get me started on how the woman talked to the girl. It made me cringe.

Angie Wrote: Hey girl Glad to see we have one of "niko's cousins in here. If you visit long hair care forum then you know what I mean. Hair issues run deep among the African American community. I know women who rather risk their health and not exercise.

Christine W. Wrote: Hi, this video is disturbing. I may look white, but I'm acutally multi-ethnic (Okinawan and Irish and German and Philipino and who knows what else). My mother's hair is bone straight (asian) and my dad has been bald since he was 20 and no one and I mean no one in my family has hair like mine. It's very kinky (looks a lot like your daughter's Donna Maria when not tamed). And as a child I remember that hairdressers wouldn't touch my hair to cut it or anything else. My mom got tired of getting up to help me comb my hair and put it up for school and my dad got tired of having to help me wash it that their solution was to cut it. I grew up hating my hair and have done everything from straightening chemically and using various products. I wish I had someone, anyone in my life to teach me how to deal with it...but I didn't. In March, my hairdresser let me be a model for a Brazilian Keratin treatment for a bunch of hairdressers that wanted to get certified and I am totally hooked! If I paid for it, it would have cost me over $700! I still have to go in every 3 months for retreatments ($200 each time). It doesn't straighten the hair, just tames it and not have to spend hours with a blow dryer to dry it or use a gallon of conditioner to keep it feeling healthy. It's not the cheapest way to deal with it, but it's definetely a more natural alternative than chemicals and saves me a tone of time!

Larona Wrote: Hi Valerie, I started watching the video and couldn't finish is either. The video was really disturbing to me, it should not have been put online. Thank you for the natural hair care links. I have been checking some of them out looking for ways to style my natural hair.

Donna Wrote: OK, I'm not even going to click on the video because I know it will upset me. My daughter has long, beautiful, thick, wavy, textured, red hair. I washed, blow dried and curled it for this picture. It took 4 hours. 4 hours ladies! And she hates every lock of it. I know that will change one day, but for now, she wants her hair to look like other people's hair, staring with mine and then with her class mates. I know one day she'll feel differently, but at age 7 when she's trying to fit in, it's hard. Funny you should mention the bonding that goes on when black women get together around hair. As a child, I spend many summers with my aunts in rural North Carolina. One of them was a hair dresser. Right there in her kitchen she would wash, comb, curl, set, flat iron, etc., her customers' hair. They would chat about all kinds of stuff and I remember them talking about "men," which was very interesting to me at my pre-teen years. I even heard a few things I was not supposed to hear. LOL! Anyhoo, my pastor's wife has invited me over to her house next week for a hair dressing session with my daughter and I cannot wait. I do not want to perm my daughter's hair. It's not that I have anything totally against it. But I feel strongly that it should be her choice whether to have a perm. And since a perm can do serious long term damage, I am determined not to take that choice away from her. But it's hard. Hard! I've tried many of the products you list above and they all work pretty well. Having said that, it still takes fo-ev-ah to do my daughter's hair. So I can't wait until next week when I get my hair lesson. And I know some good old fashioned bonding and girlfriend stuff will happen too. I'll let you know how it goes. Thanks again for this post.

Christine Wrote: I couldn't watch the video neither. What's the fuss, it's only hair? I am in the process of formulating natural haircare products for women of color for my company, Green Afro Diva. I have one completed so far (Buttacreme Locs) but I'm still working on the shampoos and conditioners to make our hair more manageable and moisturized. I don't have my website yet, and I'm still new to this site, but I can be found on my blog at blog.greenafrodiva.com as well as on etsy(grand opening in two weks!) Thanks for the links, I will chck those out.

Name: Email: Comment:
To verify that you are a human, please enter the word "valana" in the field below (without quotes).

A value is required.Invalid format.

* All comments will be reviewed before being posted to the blog.